Introduction - seeing self criticism in action
As an artist's spouse, I've seen my fair share of ups and down in terms of Magdalena's confidence and how she views herself and her work. There are the amazing days when she's come down from the studio and says “Come and take a look” and you can feel the creative fires burning in her. Other days are the polar opposite and you can just tell it's been a bad one.
Self-critiquing your work is an essential part of pretty much any job on the planet, but when your creativity is involved too, it becomes personal and if that inner voice becomes too loud and critical, it can completely cripple your creative engines, making the act of creating something a source of stress rather than joy. Often, it pops up when you’re feeling most vulnerable, which can then lead on to feelings of inadequacy and a genuine fear of failure.
Understanding why self-judgment happens is the first step toward changing how you deal with it. Many artists struggle with perfectionism, constantly comparing their work to others, or feeling pressured to meet high expectations, whether those expectations come from within, from galleries or from society both on and offline. Recognising these pressures can help you reclaim the joy that comes from creating and build a kinder, healthier relationship with your art.
A quick disclaimer here: I'm not a psychiatrist or psychologist, I'm just a husband who has worked side by side with his wife to support her in making a living from her artwork. We've worked like this for nearly a decade now, and together we've supported our family through various ups and downs. The ideas and techniques presented in this guide are a mixture of things that we've tried and tested, and others that I've researched but not tried out yet but which seem like good ideas.
In this series of blog posts we’re going to explore the roots of self-judgment, how it can limit your creativity and most importantly, how to either avoid or recover from it when those thoughts become overly self critical.
Included in the series are various exercises that are designed to help you break free from the cycle of self-criticism and replace it with a mindset of compassion and acceptance. PLEASE remember though, everyone is different! Don't just assume that all the exercises are relevant to you. They almost certainly won't be. Take a look through them and see which of them seem to be a better fit for you than others. If you give one a try but find it's not really doing anything positive for you, try a different one. There's no right or wrong, there's no single golden path that will magically make everything better, but by taking small steps each day, you absolutely can change the way you see yourself and your art. Whether you’re just starting out as an artist or you’ve been creating for years, the purpose of this guide is to offer you some tools to help you nurture a more positive and productive relationship with your work.
Let’s begin by understanding why self-judgment happens and how you can start treating yourself with more kindness in your creative practice.
The Evolutionary Basis for Self-Criticism
To really understand self-judgment, it may help to look at where it comes from at a biological level.
Believe it or not, that critical voice inside your head actually has deep evolutionary roots. Our brains have developed over millions of years to help us survive in a world full of risks and challenges. Early humans needed to make quick judgments to stay safe and avoid danger. In a way, that inner critic was part of our survival strategy.
Back then, being part of a social group was critical for survival. If you didn’t fit in, you could be left behind. So, humans evolved a mechanism that constantly evaluated their own behaviour to avoid conflict and stay accepted by the group. This self-critical voice helped ensure survival in a harsh environment, by keeping people in line with the norms of the group.
While this instinct served its purpose in the past, today it can show up as a harsh inner critic that does more harm than good. Instead of protecting us, it often limits us, especially in creative fields like art. For many artists, this constant self-evaluation leads to anxiety, fear of failure, and a feeling that they’ll never measure up. It can overshadow your creative spirit, making you hesitant to share your work or even to start new projects.
The Psychological Basis for Self-Criticism
As well as the biological reasons we looked at last time, self-judgment also has psychological roots that affect many people, especially artists. One big factor is the fear of failure. Artists often set high expectations for themselves, wanting their work to be perfect. While this can sometimes drive people to improve, it often backfires when those expectations aren’t met. Instead of feeling motivated, you end up being overly critical of yourself.
Psychologists studying self-compassion talk about how striving for perfection can lead to harsh self-talk. This can make you feel discouraged, even when you’ve made progress. If you grew up in an environment where perfection was emphasised or where you faced a lot of criticism, you might have internalised those messages, making it hard to appreciate your own achievements.
For artists, self-criticism can cause anxiety and fear of being judged, which blocks creative expression. When you're too focused on not making mistakes or on how your work will be received, it can become hard to try new things or take risks with your art.
Self-criticism has also been linked to mental health challenges like anxiety and depression, especially in creative fields where the pressure to produce can feel overwhelming.
Recognising these psychological patterns can help you shift away from self-criticism and toward a more compassionate mindset, allowing you to create more freely and joyfully.
Recognising the Inner Critic
The inner critic can be sneaky. It often starts speaking up during the most vulnerable moments of your creative process, whispering doubts like, “I’ll never be as good as them,” or “Who am I to call myself an artist?” These thoughts come from a place of fear; fear of failure, fear of judgment, and fear of not living up to impossible standards.
The first step in quieting this inner critic is recognising when it shows up. Pay attention to how you talk to yourself while you’re creating. Are you quick to dismiss your efforts? Do you feel anxious about sharing your work because of what others might think? Noticing these patterns is a key step in challenging and reframing those negative thoughts.
The Impact of Self-Judgment on Art
Self-judgment can put up a wall between you and your creativity. It can make you feel stuck, unable to experiment or take risks. When you hold your work to unrealistic standards, the joy of creating can disappear, leaving behind stress and anxiety. This constant push for perfection can lead to creative blocks, where you stop making art altogether because it feels like you’ll never meet your own expectations.
When artists fear making mistakes, they may avoid trying new techniques or exploring new subjects. This fear stifles growth and keeps you stuck in a cycle of frustration, doing the same things over and over without feeling fulfilled.
The good news is, by recognising where these feelings of self-judgment come from, you can start to break free. Once you understand that the inner critic is a mix of outdated survival instincts and learned psychological patterns, you can begin to quiet its voice and invite more kindness and creativity into your practice. One of the key practices to this is to start being kind to yourself and to begin practicing self-compassion. Let's have a look at some simple exercises to help you begin to break the cycle of self-criticism.
Exercises and practical tips
Here are some simple, practical steps to help the you start examining the sources of your self-judgment:
1. Keep a Self-Judgment Journal
Take a few minutes each day or week to jot down moments when you felt critical of your art. What were you thinking? What triggered those thoughts? Writing things down can help you identify patterns and recurring themes in your self-judgment.
Example: “I felt my drawing wasn’t good enough after looking at someone else’s work online.”
2. Reflect on the Source
Once you notice a self-critical thought, ask yourself: Where is this coming from? Is it from comparing yourself to someone else? Is it an expectation you set for yourself? Or is it something you picked up from someone in your past (like a teacher or family member)?
Example: “I realised I’m being hard on myself because I keep thinking my work should look like what I see on social media.”
3. Identify the “Voice”
Try to think of your inner critic as a separate “voice” in your head, not the truth. Ask yourself: Who does this voice sound like? Is it trying to protect you from something, like failure or rejection? Recognising that it’s not your true self can help create distance from the criticism.
Example: “This voice sounds like my old art teacher who used to push me to ‘be perfect’ in class.”
4. Talk Back to Your Inner Critic
Once you identify the source of a critical thought, gently challenge it. Ask yourself: Is this thought helpful or kind? What would I say to a friend in the same situation? This can help you break free from automatic negative thinking.
Example: Instead of thinking, ‘My art is never good enough,’ try saying, ‘This is a work in progress, and it’s okay not to be perfect.’
5. Practice Self-Compassion
When you catch yourself being self-critical, pause and try to replace that thought with something kind. Imagine how you would support a friend who is struggling with the same feelings. Offer yourself that same care and understanding.
Example: “It’s okay that I’m feeling frustrated. Every artist goes through this. What matters is that I keep creating.”
6. Limit Comparisons
If you notice that social media or comparing yourself to others often triggers your self-judgment, try limiting how often you expose yourself to those comparisons. Remember, everyone’s artistic journey is different, and what you see online is often just the “highlight reel.”
Example: “I’ll set a timer for 15 minutes to browse art online and then focus on my own work for the rest of the day.”
7. Celebrate Small Wins
Make it a habit to recognise and celebrate your progress, no matter how small. Did you try a new technique? Did you complete a project, even if it didn’t turn out perfectly? Acknowledging these moments can help shift your mindset away from constant self-criticism.
Example: “I’m proud of myself for trying watercolour for the first time, even though it was challenging.”
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